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Dating your ex once again tin be a risk. If you go most it in an emotionally good for you way, you may be able to rekindle your relationship and go far stronger than ever. Focusing on how you've grown and what you lot can both to do get ameliorate partners can make your new human relationship flourish as you try over again. By keeping a level caput and communicating clearly, you can offset dating your ex once more in a healthy, stable mode.

  1. 1

    Focus on your own life first. Breakups are tough, and dealing with emotional pain is never easy. Try to work on yourself past eating well, exercising regularly, and working on your own personal goals.[1] If your ex sees you equally a more than well-rounded person, they'll probably exist more open to dating yous—and this could even attract them to you lot again as they encounter what they're missing.[2]

    • Approaching your ex when you aren't doing well might lead to them pitying you, and no one wants that.

  2. 2

    Attract your ex past staying aristocratic. If you lot text your ex constantly or send them messages on social media, they might feel overwhelmed. Stay focused on your ain life and try to work on your goals until you lot feel confident enough to reach out again.[iii]

    • Showing your ex that you're doing fine without them can make them even more attracted to you.

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  3. 3

    Attain out when you feel ready. If it's only been a few days since your breakup, it'southward probably as well soon. Try texting or calling your ex when you experience like you can handle a rejection, not when the breakup is even so fresh.[4]

    • This tin be a niggling tough since there'due south no set timeline for when y'all might feel "gear up." If you just feel lonely or in need of a human relationship, you should probably look a little longer.
    • You can start the conversation past saying something like, "Hey, could we meet up? I wanted to talk about perhaps dating again, if you lot're interested."

  4. four

    Express your feelings and the reasons why you lot desire to date again. Most people treat breakups like the absolute end of a relationship, so your ex probably isn't expecting this. Sit downwardly with your ex and try to list the reasons why yous recall your human relationship could piece of work this time, and be prepared to answer any questions they might have.[five]

    • You lot could try saying, "I know our relationship was rocky in the past. I've really been working on fixing my bad habits, and I think we could actually make it piece of work this time."
    • Your ex may also say no or exist hesitant about trying your relationship over again, which is valid. Listen to their concerns and endeavour to piece of work it out together.

  5. 5

    Talk about relationships you had while you were apart. If you dated someone after y'all two carve up upward, permit your ex know. If they dated someone for a while too, ask about it. You don't have to go into specifics, just you lot should both know most any other relationships that happened when you weren't together.[6]

    • Information technology can be tough to hear about what your ex did when you weren't together, but it's better to detect out now than be blindsided later.
    • If your ex is upset that you dated someone else, effort to address their fears or concerns before jumping into your relationship to avert bug down the road.

  6. 6

    Agree to work on your old problems. When y'all've already been together, you both know nigh the issues that could ascend in the time to come. As you two talk about your new relationship, be sure to address the bug that happened in the past and what you can both do to avoid them in the future. Endeavor to stay away from the arraign game, and instead focus on actionable steps that yous can both take.[7]

    • For example, if you fought a lot almost money, concord to be more open with your finances to avoid any surprises.
    • Or, if y'all weren't on the same folio about marriage, talk virtually your life plans and where you see yourself in five years.
    • Or, if either of you lot had trust problems, talk about beingness honest with each other no matter what.

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  1. 1

    Take your human relationship slow. No thing what phase of your relationship yous were in before, your new relationship is just that: a new i. If you were living with your partner, engaged, or fifty-fifty married, only treat your relationship like you're dating again for the first time.

    • Taking things slow can too help you both right any negative behaviors that led to your breakup.
    • If you were living together, consider living separately for a while, even later you've gotten back together.

  2. two

    Create new memories instead of reliving onetime ones. If you were with your ex for a while, it might exist piece of cake to fall into the same patterns that you were used to. Try do new and heady things together to keep the relationship fresh and rekindle your romance.[viii]

    • For instance, you could take a weekly date dark to visit a new restaurant y'all've never been to.
    • Or, you lot could plan a weekend getaway to a town you've never visited before.

  3. 3

    Work on irresolute your old behaviors. If you find yourself falling back into the patterns that caused problems in the starting time place, recognize them and piece of work to right them. You know now what could lead to a breakup, so endeavour to avoid that at all costs.[nine]

    • It'due south one thing to say y'all'll be better with your money, but it's another thing to really stick to your budget every month and avoid overspending.
    • You can also inquire your partner to check in with you about your bad habits. If they discover anything worrying, they can let you know before it becomes a problem.

  4. 4

    Communicate calmly and respectfully. If your partner is doing something that you accept a trouble with, sit down them downward and talk to them about it. You tin also inquire them to do the same thing for you. Endeavour to talk well-nigh problems as soon equally they come up, and do it without yelling or blaming each other.[10]

    • Good communication is one of the biggest indicators that a relationship will work. When your communication breaks down, that's when the problems really start.
    • For case, you could say, "I noticed that you're staying out late again without calling me, and that'southward made me upset in the past. Could we talk about this before it turns into a huge issue?"
    • If y'all're having trouble communicating, consider seeing a couple'south counselor.

  5. 5

    Avoid talking most your breakup likewise much. Information technology was probably painful for both of you, and you don't need to remind your partner about it every day (or every time you get in a fight). Focus on enjoying the now, not living in the past with your bad memories.

    • When you lot concord to rekindle your relationship, make sure you're over the bug that caused your breakup. If yous aren't over them or you haven't made your peace with them, yous'll probably bring them up to injure your partner in the future.

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  1. i

    Ask yourself why you'd like to date your ex again. Is information technology considering you're lonely? Or exercise you really miss your ex for who they were? If you think that you're just pursuing your ex again considering you don't want to exist single anymore, you should take some time to work on yourself.[11] [12]

    • Getting into a relationship just to be in a relationship usually doesn't end well, particularly with someone you've dated earlier.

  2. ii

    Analyze the reasons you broke up in the start place. If you lot nevertheless aren't over information technology or you haven't fully processed it, yous should probably agree off. Really call back about the issues in your relationship and what caused your dissever before you start talking to your ex again.[xiii]

    • For example, if your ex cheated on you, you lot might accept to consider whether or not you're willing to forgive them before y'all get dorsum together.
    • Or, if you just grew apart, y'all might want to think about how you could reconnect and rekindle your relationship in the time to come.

  3. 3

    Think about the bad times as well as the good times. When y'all look back on your relationship, it'due south easy to just think about the times when yous 2 were really happy. Nonetheless, earlier y'all decide to pursue the relationship again, recall virtually the times when you were distressing, aroused, or frustrated. Are you willing to risk going through that once more, or is information technology as well much to handle?[14]

    • If yous're having trouble remembering the tough times (these tend to fade with time), consider asking your friends nigh it. Chances are, they'll remember when yous talked about your frustrations in the human relationship.

  4. 4

    Stay away from your ex if your relationship was toxic. Toxic relationships tin exist piece of cake to miss when y'all're in them. Think about how often you and your ex fought and how good you were at communicating your problems. If you lot brought out the bad in each other, information technology might exist better to move on.[15]

    • Again, you tin talk to your friends and family most this, too. They've probably recognized some bad patterns in your relationship, fifty-fifty if you haven't.

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Add together New Question

  • Question

    Should I commencement dating my ex again?

    Amy Chan

    Amy Chan is the Founder of Renew Breakdown Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to heal after the cease of a human relationship. Her team of psychologists and coaches has helped hundreds of individuals in merely ii years of operation, and the bootcamp has been featured on CNN, Vogue, the New York Times, and Fortune. Her book about her work, Breakup Bootcamp, will be published by HarperCollins in Jan 2020.

    Amy Chan

    Human relationship Coach

    Expert Reply

    Support wikiHow past unlocking this skillful answer.

    Not necessarily. Information technology's normal to miss your ex after a breakup—your brain is still looking for the comfort that you used to go far the relationship. Still, that doesn't necessarily mean it's a good idea to get dorsum together.

  • Question

    Why do I desire to go back with my ex?

    Amy Chan

    Amy Chan is the Founder of Renew Breakdown Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to heal after the end of a relationship. Her squad of psychologists and coaches has helped hundreds of individuals in but 2 years of operation, and the bootcamp has been featured on CNN, Vogue, the New York Times, and Fortune. Her book about her work, Breakup Bootcamp, will be published by HarperCollins in January 2020.

    Amy Chan

    Human relationship Coach

    Practiced Answer

    Back up wikiHow past unlocking this expert respond.

    Feeling sad and missing your ex after a breakup is natural. When y'all outset go together, y'all experience a big inundation of chemicals that brand you feel exhilarated and close to your partner. During a breakdown, your brain experiences those same chemical reactions, just in reverse.

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  • Your ex might not desire to appointment you lot again, and that'south okay. Try to focus on yourself and move on when you lot feel ready.

  • If y'all're having trouble talking to each other, consider seeing a couple'due south counselor to go a third-party perspective.

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